I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My ass is underappreciated
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
