She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
