Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
