In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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