A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
