I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
