Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
