so that wasnt chicken after all
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
