I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
