Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
