Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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