im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
NoShamevember. You game?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
