every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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