she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
