The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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