was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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