it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
