never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
