Plan B is the new Plan A
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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