u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
