new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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