saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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