just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
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