Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
