Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
