can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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