yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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