please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
