I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
