I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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