covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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