she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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