We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
