You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
