life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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