I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
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OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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