I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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