Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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