i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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