Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
