Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
