You're so nebulous sometimes
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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