either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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