I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
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Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
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When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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