I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
