Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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