Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
