I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
