He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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