Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His hands were made for my vagina.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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