i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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