i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He? As in you personified your dick?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
