hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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