im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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