How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
