so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
