i think my mom watched the whole time
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
